I constantly wonder, "Will I succeed this year?" and "What exactly do I want to do with my life?"
In this mindset, it would be sooooo easy to pity myself. It would be soooo easy to pull a "poor me". But.... I can't. This is NOTHING. People around the world are going through far worse things than this. Don't get me wrong, I do have a lot on my plate, but if anything, I should be thankful. I should be thankful that I have to worry about homework, and not food. I should be thankful that I have to class write papers, and not grad school applications. I should be thankful that my family's next meal does not depend on my paycheck from work.
I should be thankful that God is putting me through this storm. To be honest, this is the most stressed I have been in my entire life, but I'm glad that it is happening. If there was never any cold rain, how would one know how nice the warm summer day is? If there were never harsh words, how would one even know what a simple compliment is? The harsher the storm is, the more beautiful the small things become. Though my personal storm (which has been this semester thus far), I have found joy in standing outside, and letting the wind run past my ears. I have found joy in sitting at my kitchen table, and watching people walk by. I have even found joy in standing outside on a cold night, without a coat, because it shows me that there is beauty in the bite of the cold. It lets your body feel goosebumps. It assures you that your internal heating mechanism is working properly.
Here's a video from one of my inspirations, Kid President
This world we live in, is a beautiful one. The things that happen in the world, can be dark. We have to see the positive in EVERYTHING that we can. We have to try our hardest. One thing I have learned this semester, is that you have try your absolute hardest in EVERYTHING. Even then, you hardest isn't enough. You have to push even harder. Sometimes, even that comes short. At times like this, you have to do some introspective work, and ask yourself if you really did the best that you could. Sometimes, you and only you will know that. But you have to be okay with the fact that only you might know it. You also have to be okay with the answer.
Here is a video about Success: