Tonight we went to The Blue Note! The ever-so-famous, Blue Note jazz club! It was a really cool night. Robert Glasper is a pianist, who has skills out the ying-yang. He is probably one of the fastest piano players that I have ever heard. All in all, the night was pretty cool. The music was great, and the scene was so fun. When I went home though, my mind brought me back to conversation that I was having with myself last night. "What am I doing here?" I thought for a long while about this. I thought back to all of the open mics and shows thus far, and I couldn't think of a time where I actually sounded decent. I then thought about my future, and if I was working towards an actual future, in any way. I thought about my album, and about if any of this is practical. I concluded that I'm not sure if it's practical.
So... what. am. I. doing.
After I finished with all of these thoughts of "What am I seriously doing with my life?", I came to the conclusion that I wanted to remove my music from SoundCloud, and Facebook, and YouTube, and everything else. I did the math on how long it would take to delete everything, and how worth-it it would be to cut my losses. I just felt embarrassed that I had put so much energy and advertisement into all of my music, only to realize that it's a farce that I have bought into. I don't sound half-way decent, and there hasn't been one live show where I have felt that I have done a decent job. That there's no practical future in what I'm doing, and that I'm not furthering myself in any way, chasing this dream. Let me tell you the bigger lesson I learned tonight, though: Friends are not only invaluable, but are people who believe in you when you no longer have the strength to believe in yourself. Before I left for the Blue Note tonight, I saw on Facebook that my friend Caleb had posted a status that said "Go listen to David Webb on Spotify!" accompanied by a picture of him listening to me underneath the status. That, made my day. It's not the attention that made my day, though. It was the fact that somebody was listening to my music, and that it had an effect on them. My biggest goal with my music is to connect with people.
So, when I opened up my Facebook, after I got home from The Blue Note, I had at least 15 notifications. People had not only liked and shared Caleb's status, but shared my Spotify photo, made new statuses, and it just didn't stop. And these aren't all close friends who were sharing my music; these were acquaintances... people who I haven't talked to in years. Yet, they were all so supportive. Having no clue what I was thinking about doing, they all pulled through, unknowingly, and brought my self-confidence up to such a high level. After seeing this, I thought to myself, "Well, you're doing something right I guess. Just keep going." They saved my music, and I'll always be grateful for it.
Thank you, friends. Thank you to everyone who's been so, so, supportive. I've learned how genuine performers are when they say, "I would like to thank my fans, friends, and family. I could never thank them enough!" Because, well, it wouldn't be possible.
I love you all :)